Comfort in Sadness

Today I feel sad.

The dew on the grass this weekend looked like tears in the sunlight. The sun-glinted leaves during my morning drive looked like cheeks wet from crying.  And this afternoon the gray of the bunched-up clouds reflects the gloom that fills my heart when I think about living the rest of my life without my mother. Even when the sun bursts through the clouds, sending its glow through the maples and over the grass, its beauty creates the ache of remembering my mom’s smile, her comforting voice.

It’s been one of those weekends when I long to hear her tell me everything’s going to be okay. Even when she didn’t actually say those words, simply talking to her and knowing that she was always there, available for me, often made me feel as if everything truly would be okay.

But God, my loving Father, knows exactly what a daughter needs. Perhaps that’s why He reminded me of a conversation I had a few weeks ago with some godly friends. After I expressed some burdens on my heart, a brother in Christ responded, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

How did he know I needed to hear those words? Only God could have known that. And He knew again, this morning, what I needed when I came across these words in Isaiah: “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; and you will be comforted in Jerusalem” (66:13).

God was promising His people a wonderful future, even though their present experience was hard and painful. He was promising redemption and restoration to them.

Today, in my sadness, the Lord is telling me everything’s going to be okay. He is near. He understands. And the present pain I’m experiencing in no way forfeits the joy of relationship with Him or the plans He has for the rest of my life.

O Lord, beautify my tears with Your glory.

Be magnified in my pain,

be glorified through my grief.

Let Your face, which my mother now beholds,

shine in favor upon me,

and give me peace.

Amen.