The Other Side of the Pendulum

So, whose fault is it—prolonged singleness? Is it the single person’s? Society’s? And for the believer, is it safe to give God and His sovereignty some of the blame?


In my last post, several of you made comments that touched on a couple of these ideas. I don’t have space to discuss all of them here, but for now, there is a point I’d like to make.


The world is not as it was, back in the pristine days of Eden. That garden is no longer part of our earth, which is now tangled and weeded. Life comes with stinging thorns and thistles, with painful disappointment.


Circumstances aren’t always what they were meant to be.


And that’s how I view prolonged singleness—something that just wasn’t meant to be. Yet, it is. For many of us, both inside and outside the Church.


Women of the Western world today are blessed; we can pursue education and careers. We can vote. We are recognized as contributing citizens in our society, equal to men. For these rights, we can thank the Feminist Movement.


However, I think feminism has backfired on us. The pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme: Equality with men means doing everything a man does, being everything a man is. It often places women in competition with men, failing to acknowledge the complementary roles God gave each gender. When you boil it down, modern feminism equals self-sufficiency.


Do you think feminism has influenced the lives of women (and men) to such an extent that marriages are delayed? Why or why not?



3 Responses to “ “The Other Side of the Pendulum”

  1. Brendy says:

    Absolutely! Men want to be providers and protectors and they're often emasculated by our culture and our media and are told that we women can do without them. I couldn't disagree more with what society is communicating to both men and women. I believe that marriage is something we have must contend for. Thanks Joanne for this blog. It's very timely! 🙂

  2. Sarah says:

    Men (good, Godly, Christian men) seem to be hanging back in their pursuit of co-ed community at alarming rates. Especially when single people reach their 30's and 40's, they need that community more than ever, but it seems like the drive to sustain that connectedness is gone in most men by this age. Women, being natural connectors and relationship builders, can easily be tempted to give up and just pursue connection with other women, since that is easier. From my perspective, I think feminism has crippled the male species in the God-given gift of pursuit.

  3. Joanne Chantelau says:

    Ladies, I whole-heartedly agree. It's not just women who have been affected by the messages of our society, but men. Sarah, I've noticed that lack of connectedness you talked about, and Brendy, you are so right: just getting married is something we have to fight for these days. Thanks to both for the comments and the follow!

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