For two weeks now, I’ve been out of my normal routine. Away from my state, my home, my job, my friends. Living with my family, moment by moment.     It’s almost starting to feel normal, except for the things that I miss. What I can’t get away from, though, are my own issues and struggles. During these two weeks, the Lord has highlighted a couple of them. Like my tendency toward legalism and guilt. And my inability to fully be in moments of relaxation, without having to do. I think, somehow, these two issues are intertwined.   And I’m realizing that this time away, while purposeful in...

Loving someone who has cancer has made me suddenly aware of how many other people there are who also love someone with cancer.   And how many other people who must be praying for a miracle.   Sometimes I wonder how God can handle it. Day after day, night after night, cries for miracles rising to heaven. Cries for healing of incurable disease. Cries for food and shelter, for love. For freedom from abuse or oppression. Cries for children, education and opportunity. And cries from people who lost someone or something before the miracle came.   It’s overwhelming. Where does my request for a...

I’m not a good photographer, but this picture captures a glimmer of the exquisite November afternoon I arrived at my parents’ house, the exquisite landscape of my childhood. It took place on these rocks, in this creek, surrounded by these beautiful trees. In this spacious house with my generous parents.     November, so far, has been mild and gorgeous, not just where I currently reside, but in my hometown. Leaves make graceful descents into golden piles at the base of trees. The elegant stars of Japanese maples cover the sidewalks like red carpet in the sunlight. The air remains fresh,...

The last couple of days my stomach has had that nervous tied-up-in-knots feeling.   It’s because I’m afraid.   Ever since we got the bad report from my mother’s doctors and I made plans to fly north to be with my mom, that fear has crept in. As I’ve begun to wrap up things at work to leave for an extended—and unknown—amount of time, that fear has grown.   I’m desperately in need of a good report. I think that’s why a line from the Psalms has quietly appeared in my heart this week: “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You” (Psalm 56:3).   I know that the...

A bright red cardinal perched on the branches of a tree with rust-colored leaves last Friday. Everything else about that day was gray, gloomy and heavy, including the cloud-laden sky. It was that day that we found out Mom’s cancer had spread to her lungs. I found the lyrics of an old Amy Grant song from the ‘80s, “Ask Me,” going through my mind: “Ask me if I think there’s a God up in the heavens / where did He go in the middle of my pain?” The resolution to these questions come at the end of the song: “Mercy, mercy in the middle.” It was these few words that came to mind when I saw the cardinal. Red,...